


A Vampire and A Werewolf Walk into A Bar

by Fluffypanda



Series: Is This A Joke? [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Enemies to Lovers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Vampires, Werewolves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-05
Updated: 2017-01-05
Packaged: 2018-09-14 22:35:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9207317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fluffypanda/pseuds/Fluffypanda
Summary: A misunderstanding and a meddling bartender lead people to believe Bucky and Tony are dating, they run with it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Surrealx3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Surrealx3/gifts).



> For Surrealx3's prompt: Supernatural AU. A vampire and werewolf walked into a bar. Tony's the vampire and Bucky's the werewolf. And Darcy is the human who thinks they'd be adorable together.
> 
> I hope you like it!

“Cheers to the happy couple!”

“Cheers!” Bucky and Tony echoed before downing their drinks.

“I was the one that got them together,” Darcy crowed, delightedly.

“We know, Darcy,” Steve said.

“You won’t shut up about it. We heard it from you before Bucky even told us about it,” Sam grumbled into a basket of wings.

“Look, I’m sorry. I would have said something eventually.”

Bucky tried not to appear too surprised when Tony slipped his hand into Bucky’s and rested the both of them on the counter in plain view. Tony’s hand was dry and a little rough, not as calloused as someone making a living on hard work, but not as soft as someone who never lifted a finger. Bucky wondered if Tony had some sort of treatment done to his hands.

“It’s my fault. I asked Bucky to keep it quiet,” Tony confessed. “You know how the media likes to blow up over anything about me.”

Bucky sure knew it now; he was still amazed he hadn’t noticed that he had been hitting on one of the most high-profile vampires turned in the last century. There had been so much coverage about the whole affair when it happened a couple of years back. It had been centuries since someone had been turned against their will as, after all, it was quite a lot of work to be wasted on someone who might turn around and kill you for doing it.

“It’s fine man. I’m sure you had your reasons, right, Steve?” Sam said with a shrug.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Steve replied. “I was just surprised; you used to tell me everything.”

“You only thought that, punk.”

That hurt look on Steve’s face made Bucky want to spill every secret he had. Bucky should have been immune to it by now, but it always hit him hard. Right from the beginning, there had been things Bucky couldn’t tell Steve, and there were even times he had lied to Steve, though he tried to avoid it.

The fact that he wasn’t actually dating Tony was just one more thing he kept from Steve for his own good. Tony might be easy on the eyes, but Bucky sure wasn’t hanging out with an egotistical vampire doused in godawful cologne because he wanted to. Bucky just wanted Steve to stop worrying, that’s why he went along with this whole thing. If Steve thought Bucky had gotten over the rejection and was dating someone else, then things could go back to normal between them.

“I was surprised, too,” Sam added. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I didn’t think either of you were much for serious relationships.”

“Let’s show them how serious we are,” Tony whispered, just loud enough that Sam and Steve would be able to hear, his breath puffing in Bucky’s sensitive ear and sending a shiver down Bucky’s spine.

In retaliation, Bucky threw his arm around Tony and whispered back, “Who says this is serious? Maybe I’m looking to break your heart.”

“Please, I’m the heartbreaker here, haven’t you heard?”

“That was before you met me.”

Steve coughed, then politely asked, “Where are Tony’s friends?”

“He doesn’t have any,” Bucky snickered, letting go of Tony’s shoulder.

“That’s hurtful, honey bunny. They’re busy.” Tony shifted in his seat and finished off the last of his drink. “No rest for the wicked and all that.”

“Maybe next time we can find a time that works for them, too,” Sam suggested before Bucky could tease Tony some more.

“We’ll work something out,” Tony agreed before calling to Darcy for another drink.

They chatted for a while longer, knocking back a couple of drinks each in the process. Darcy stopped by whenever she had a moment to croon over how “cute” Bucky and Tony were together. Most of them (i.e. everyone with the exception of Tony) had work in the morning so before long they stepped out into the cool moonlight, the air fizzling with energy as they said their goodbyes.

“It was nice meeting you, Tony,” Steve said, sticking his hand out for a handshake.

“Likewise,” Tony replied somewhat unconvincingly, though he shook Steve’s hand all the same.

Sam patted Tony on the back and added, “Same goes for me, man. We should do this again sometime.”

“Absolutely.”

Then Tony turned to Bucky and instantly the tension in the air doubled. From just the look in Tony’s eyes, Bucky knew immediately what Tony was going to do and was mentally preparing himself before Tony even leaned forward. Their lips met a moment later in a slow kiss.

The kiss had just enough heat to it to be convincing, but didn’t cross any lines and grow too intimate. Tony was good enough that Bucky was just a little disappointed when Tony’s soft lips left his. It had been a while since he last kissed someone who knew what they were doing.

“Bye, sugar lips.”

“See ya, fang face.”

 

 

A few nights later, after a series of increasingly impatient knocks, Bucky opened his apartment door to find one disgruntled and unfortunately familiar vampire.

“Why are you here?”

Tony took off his sunglasses and rolled his eyes exaggeratedly with an exasperated huff. “Finally. Your buddy showed up at my tower. I think he might be on to us.”

“Is there a reason you couldn’t have told me about this on the phone?”

“And miss the chance to barge over here?” Tony grinned, showing his fangs.

Bucky bit back the urge to growl. “I don’t know why I even bother.”

“Well? Aren’t you going to invite me in?” Tony said, fidgeting at Bucky’s threshold.

“I don’t know. Should I?” Bucky said, purposefully leaving the door open as he went over to sit on his couch. “You look like trouble.”

“Listen, gummy bear, sugar baby, honey bunch, if there is one thing I know about you it’s that you love trouble. You go to fine restaurants and movie premieres with trouble. You whisper sweet nothing’s in trouble’s ear and take it to bed with you.”

“Fine, you caught me, but I still don’t want you stinking up my apartment.” Though even as he said it, Bucky noticed that Tony wasn’t wearing his usual cologne, instead the scent of smelted metal and engine grease stuck to him.

“It’s awful rude to leave your boyfriend sitting on your doorstep like this. Imagine what the neighbors would say, imagine what Steve would say.”

“That’s playing dirty.”

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” Tony said, salaciously.

Tony was looking at him again, the same look that made Bucky approach him in the first place. He only found out later that Tony had been giving him that look because Darcy thought she could pull one over on them. She gave both of them a drink and said the other bought it for them. It was her idea of matchmaking.

Too bad for her that it only lasted until Tony tried to sink his fangs in Bucky’s neck. Really though, she should have known better than to try to set up a werewolf with a vampire. (Bucky might be willing to admit, under duress, that maybe he should have noticed his partner was a vampire before agreeing to go get a bite with him.)

“Whatever, you can come in.”

“Yay!” Tony said, actually skipping through the doorway like a little kid.

“So, you said Steve dropped by your place. How long ago was this?”

“How’d you know it was Steve and not your other friend there, Wilson?” Tony joined Bucky on the couch, though at the far end of it rather than next to him.

“Of course it was Steve. Now tell me, when did this happen? What did he do?”

“About a few hours ago. He was sniffing all over the place. He started a fight with my security, scared my receptionists, and then after finally meeting me, he interrogated me about our ‘relationship.’”

Bucky sighed in relief. “That’s all?”

“He came all the way to my tower to ask how we met and what kind of dates we go on! How are you not concerned?”

“Steve is pack, the most important part of it. He holds everyone together.”

“So, he’s the alpha or whatever?”

“What? No. I forgot what weird ideas non-wolves have about packs.” Bucky shook his head in disbelief before explaining, “He’s sort of like the pack leader. Besides me, he’s been here the longest, and he really takes care of everyone.”

“And that means he corners everyone who gets into a relationship with someone in the pack?”

“Pretty much. Anyway, if he were really worried our relationship was a sham, he’d be talking to me.” And making that damn ‘I’m so hurt and disappointed in you’ face; Bucky hated that face.

“He’s really that intense about everyone in the pack?”

“Well, he might have gone a bit overboard because it was me, we’ve known each other since we were pups. After everything we’ve been through, there’s no splitting us apart. I thought that meant we’d…but I was wrong. Steve—he doesn’t feel that way.”

“I don’t get it. What’s wrong with him?”

“No, Steve’s really great. He was really torn up about not returning my feelings. I couldn’t watch it anymore.”

“So, that’s why you’re on board with this?” Tony said, with a hand gesture that somehow managed to encompass the whole situation.

“Yup. That about covers it.” Bucky narrowed his eyes at Tony. “What about you?”

Bucky really was curious. Tony could have just as easily ignored the pictures and gossip that Darcy unwittingly spread. As far as Bucky could tell, it wouldn’t have made a difference as Tony was always getting caught with some person or another. Or at least that was the impression Google gave him.

“It’s not important.”

“I told you mine.”

“Fine. I broke up with my longtime girlfriend. Everyone thinks I’m still hung up on her because I haven’t started dating again. It was causing problems, so now I’m fixing them.”

That didn’t really explain much, yet also was all Bucky needed to know. Well, _almost_ all he needed to know.

“Are you hung up on her?”

“No. Not really. Maybe a little,” Tony spluttered. “Probably about as much as you are hung up on Steve.”

Bucky whistled. “Wow, you’ve got it bad.”

“I just—I thought she was the one, you know? That if I could make it work with someone, it’d be her. She was all I had.”

“You’ve got me. Nowhere will you find a more loyal fake boyfriend. It’s my specialty.” Bucky quickly added, “The loyalty, not the fake boyfriend thing. I’ve never done that before.”

 

 

Somehow, instead of kicking Tony out after their little heart-to-heart, Bucky ended up breaking out the booze and drinking with him.

“Jus’ a little nibble,” Tony pleaded. “You look like you taste so good.”

“I don’ wanna. It’s a matter of pride. What kind of wolf would I be if I just bared my throat for anyone that asked, especially a vampire?”

“But I’m not just anyone am I?”

Somewhere along the way Bucky partially shifted. His ears and tail were out and his senses sharpened. Tony’s natural scent was more intoxicating than the alcohol, something he could truly get drunk off of. It was both relaxing and thrilling, igniting a spark of pleasure in Bucky’s belly. Combined with Tony’s mesmerizing eyes, Bucky never stood a chance.

“I guess not…” Bucky’s tail thumped against the couch. “Okay, but you gotta let me sniff your hair.”

“My hair?”

“Yeah, it smells good. All musky and metallic like a man that’s been hard at work.”

While Tony mouthed at Bucky’s neck, Bucky buried his nose in Tony’s soft hair. Without really meaning to, Bucky let go and shifted the rest of the way. Tony pulled away, spitting out a mouthful of fur with exaggerated noises of distaste.

“Come on! Really?” Tony cried.

Bucky wriggled his hind legs out of his ill-fitting jeans. He didn’t bother shrugging off his tank top as it was loose enough to accommodate the change in his anatomy, instead he rested his weight on Tony, sending him toppling over on the couch. Bucky gave Tony’s chin a quick and affectionate lick.

“Get off me! You’re too heavy! Move!”

Bucky replied with a soft yet firm boof. Having already made up his mind and decided that he was going to stay right where he was.

Taking another deep breath to inhale Tony’s scent, Bucky settled his weight more firmly on top of Tony. He knew Tony was full of it, if Tony really wanted to he could move Bucky. Bucky’s 200 some odd pounds were nothing to a vampire’s natural strength.

Underneath Bucky, Tony relaxed marginally. He stuck his fingers in Bucky’s fur, leisurely scratching behind the ears. The action was more than enough to help the both of them to unwind. Eventually Bucky’s eyes drifted closed with Tony’s body curled into his.

 

 

Bucky woke to the couch shifting beneath him.

“You’re the heaviest fur blanket I’ve ever slept under.”

Memories from the night before trickled back in and Bucky groaned into Tony’s chest. He wasn’t at all ready to deal with the world.

“Though I suppose now that you lost the fur, you’re just the guy that’s laying on top of me.”

The cool air against Bucky’s ass told him that Tony was right, Bucky had shifted back at some point, probably in response to the moon setting.

“I should get some pants,” Bucky said without moving.

“No need to do it on my account, it’s hardly the first time I’ve woken up like this.”

“Oh?”

“Admittedly, this is much nicer and I’m not nearly as hungover.”

“Nicer you say?” Bucky lifted his head to look at Tony.

“Well, I didn’t want to do this,” Tony said, pressing a kiss to Bucky’s lips.

Now fully awake, Bucky deepened the kiss. Their lips slid against each other passionately, occasionally rubbing against the fresh stubble that sprang up overnight. Bucky closed his eyes as he scraped his tongue over Tony’s teeth, tracing his fangs. Tony ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair and breathlessly pulled him closer.

 

 

Three days, forty-nine kisses, and some fun that most definitely did not involve pants later, they were back at the bar that started it all.

“Hey, it’s my favorite couple again,” Darcy said. “How are things going with you two?”

Bucky looked at Tony and took in every dazzling inch of him, aware that Tony was doing the same.

“Pretty great, actually.”


End file.
